To Pee or Not to Pee?

To Pee or Not to Pee? That is the question. Whether it be nobler to stand tall and refuse to take "the cup" or bow down to rules and regulations and try not to get any pee on your hands is a question that has already been answered. We pee! And if we don't, someone else is driving our route and taking home the paycheck.

But that doesn't mean we can't "work the system" every now and then.

So, follow along with me on this one: It's 2 p.m. You just got the call that it's your turn to fill the cup. And it's a good thing too because you've been needing to pee for quite some time. But wait -- today is Little Johnny's birthday, and all 12 of his never-been-aboard-a-bus friends are all riding to his house for the party. Just thinking about it makes you want to do some heavy drugs -- but you can't because "the cup," it is awaiting.

So, let's work the system a bit: Before you head over to the "Drug Testing Area," pee like a horse and get it all out of your system. Then, since you won't be able to pee up to the line, you'll have to stay there until you do. Even if it's all day! Even if it's all day and past you bus route time. Which means, BY LAW, somebody else is going to have to drive a bunch of boys home to a birthday party.

Now, of course, there is a price to pay. There's ALWAYS a price to pay. When you "discover" you just can't pee up to the line, they're going to ask you to drink a couple of huge glasses of water to get some pee out of you. And do you know what happens when you have to drink a couple of back-to-back huge glasses of water? Not only will you fill up that cup today, but you'll be peeing every hour on the hour for the rest of the week.

So, I guess you have to weigh the pros and cons. Either that, or just PRETEND that you can't pee. Keep pretending up until the time those buses pull out with all those little children, then let the good times flow.

Hmmmm, I wish I had thought of that earlier. Excuse me...I have to pee again.