Ten Excuses That Might Calm Down an Irate Transportation Supervisor

Okay -- you're alarm clock didn't go off, you overslept, there's no way you can make it to your bus on time, and you had to call your transportation supervisor to pass on the "good news." Luckily, he's yelling so loud into the phone you can't quite understand every single word, but you get the impression he's a bit miffed. Sooner or later you're going to have to face him, and it's better to face him with one of these "Ten Excuses That Might Calm Down an Irate Transportation Supervisor."
  • "I was having this wild dream about being chased by Amazon women, and I didn't want it to end." (Works if you're a guy, not so much if you're female)
  • "I woke up and thought it was Saturday." (Could happen)
  • "I didn't get any sleep last night because my goats got out of their pen and I had to chase them all night." (It's best to actually have goats if you're going to use this one)
  • "My spouse and I were engaging in a wild night of lovemaking and..." (Don't even try it. It'll just make things worse)
  • "Our microwave timer went out, so my wife used my alarm clock and forgot to change the settings back." (I don't know. If it works for you, let me know)
  • "My alarm clock didn't go off." (NEVER tell the truth. That's the only thing they won't believe)
  • "I had a vision that the world was going to end and I wanted to spend my last few minutes with my family." (Only works if you have a history of mental problems)
  • "I'm sorry. I blew it. Go ahead and fire me. I deserve it." (Not really an excuse, but since there is nobody just "dying" to take your place, it's doubtful you'll be fired)
  • "Would you believe..." (Never start off an excuse with "would you believe" because right off the bat, they won't)
  • "My dog ate my alarm clock." (Works every time!)

WORDS OF ADVICE: When making excuses, it's best to look humble, head held low, speak softly and carry a big plate of cookies.


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