- "I was having this wild dream about being chased by Amazon women, and I didn't want it to end." (Works if you're a guy, not so much if you're female)
- "I woke up and thought it was Saturday." (Could happen)
- "I didn't get any sleep last night because my goats got out of their pen and I had to chase them all night." (It's best to actually have goats if you're going to use this one)
- "My spouse and I were engaging in a wild night of lovemaking and..." (Don't even try it. It'll just make things worse)
- "Our microwave timer went out, so my wife used my alarm clock and forgot to change the settings back." (I don't know. If it works for you, let me know)
- "My alarm clock didn't go off." (NEVER tell the truth. That's the only thing they won't believe)
- "I had a vision that the world was going to end and I wanted to spend my last few minutes with my family." (Only works if you have a history of mental problems)
- "I'm sorry. I blew it. Go ahead and fire me. I deserve it." (Not really an excuse, but since there is nobody just "dying" to take your place, it's doubtful you'll be fired)
- "Would you believe..." (Never start off an excuse with "would you believe" because right off the bat, they won't)
- "My dog ate my alarm clock." (Works every time!)
WORDS OF ADVICE: When making excuses, it's best to look humble, head held low, speak softly and carry a big plate of cookies.
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