Ask your bus driver

Dear Mr. Bus Driver: Little Johnny keeps taking out his pencils and markers and won't put them away in his backpack when I tell him to. What should I do?
Dear Rider: Leave Little Johnny alone. The only way some people learn is the hard way, and when he gets his eye poked out, he'll remember next time to keep them in his backpack (his pencils, not his eye).

Dear Mr. Bus Driver: I'm in 2nd grade and I really like the boy who sits in Seat No. 15. I think he's in 6th grade. If you would give him an assigned seat next to me, I'd be your best friend forever.
Dear Rider: He's too old for you. He probably doesn't even know your name. And besides, if it's the boy I'm thinking of, you don't WANT him to sit by you.

Dear Mr. Bus Driver: I really don't think you know how to drive. I bet monkeys could drive this bus better than you. You drive too slow, you hit all the bumps, and frankly, I think you're too old. Have you ever thought about retiring?
Dear Rider: Thank you for your kind observations. I drive slow because I'm trying to aggravate you. I hit all the bumps because you sit in the back and I like to see you fly. I may be old, but I'm not dumb enough to say a lot of bad things in a letter, then sign it like you did, Randy Smith, 9th grader who sits in Seat No. 25, who lives at 101 Maple Street.