Ways you can tell if the guy behind the wheel is a lunatic

Not to scare you or anything, but some bus drivers have no business driving a school bus. And where our schools find these people (maybe hitchhiking down the interstate) is a mystery never to be solved. So, having been a driver for all of my adult life, I hereby give you the following clues to look for when determining whether or not your bus driver is a psycho.

• Your bus driver may be a psycho if he aims for squirrels and other animals (like cows) crossing the road.
• Your bus driver may be a psycho if he speeds up when going over speed bumps.
• Your bus driver may be a psycho if he turns off the bus before "correcting" a rider (when the bus is off, so is the security camera so there's no proof of what he's doing).
• Your bus driver may be a psycho if he constantly whistles the Indiana Jones theme song while he's driving (it means he's in the mood to do something daring, possibly dangerous).
• Your bus driver may be a psycho if he watches for deer more than he watches the road.
• Your bus driver may be a psycho if he drives with one eye closed just to see if he can.
• Your bus driver may be a psycho if he hits a deer and field dresses it on the spot or ties it to the hood of the bus to clean it later.